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Starting last March, I was given many directives..
Rest and relax until you know more.
Let your body heal and see if the numbness goes away.
Rest and get your body ready for surgeries.
Let your body and yourself heal from the surgeries.
You can get back to some activity but you need to listen to your body.
Go back to living your life.
So I am able but I am struggling with the balance.
I’ve adjusted over the past few months to a slow but active daytime. While the kids are at school, I try to fit in some activities that are good for me physically and therapeutically as well as some that are fun and social.
I’ve stuck a nice balance but these nighttime plans are bumming me out. I seem to crash at night which is prohibitive to seeing my working friends. Again, I guess my lesson here is patience. But sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to keep learning it.
Monday was just one example of my daily internal struggle. I played tennis for about an hour and a half. I had a blast it tired me out. I came home to take a nap…and hydrate…and lay on the couch.
I was invited to a friend’s house to watch the Bachelor that night. I don’t even watch the show but wanted to hang with my girlfriends. I felt like I shouldn’t go and that I should listen to my body. My body was telling me to stay on the couch with a big glass of water and an early bed time. I really wanted to ignore my body and feel normal!
While I felt sad all day about having to stay in and rest, my husband came home and told me to go. He reminded me that I don’t have to stay all night…but I should go since I miss my friends. Considering that he is usually the cautious one, I knew that I should listen to him. He is wonderful and knows that I am working hard at taking care of myself…but also that my friends mean a lot. So off I went to watch the meaningful documentary Bachelor, with a couple of my besties. The laughter, catching up and relaxing with them while watching junk television was just what I needed.
I need to practice patience and self-care but also need to find ways to nurture myself. Friends and an encouraging husband certainly help me do that!